I introduce to you the Donald Trump Orange Monkey, a variation of the Monkey Gland served in a small glass to make your hands look big. It is intoxicating enough to make everyone around you believe you’re making sense but will leave you full of regret in the morning. And the Hillary Clinton Americana, an updated version of the classic Americano that is still full of patriotism but now inclusive of women. It’s strong, bitter, gets the job done and served in a short glass.

How to make the Donald Trump Orange Monkey

Ingredients:

1 3/4  oz Gin

1/4 oz Absinthe

Orange juice

Splash of Grenadine

Orange slice for garnish

Instructions:

Combine the Gin, Absinthe, Orange Juice and Grenadine in a cocktail shaker with ice. Shake well. Strain into a chilled sour glass (short champagne flute) and add the orange slice as garnish.

Don’t share with anyone, if they get close to your drink build a wall of pillows around you and call security.

How to make the Hillary Clinton Americana

Ingredients:

1 oz Campari

1 oz Vermouth

Sprite

Instructions:

Fill a short cocktail glass with ice. Shake the equal parts Campari and Vermouth together in a cocktail shaker with ice. Strain and pour over ice, add Sprite to fill the glass.

Next, ensure everyone has the perfect drink of their choice, don’t be afraid to micromanage, and be sure to stop anyone who is drinking more than their fair share. When finished make sure to break the glass!

Now sit back and enjoy the next few months as the election starts to really heat up. You’ll be all set for any debate viewing parties with these cocktails.

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1. Pace yourself. The clubs are all unique and spectacular; you’re going to want to remember them all. So, do not drink a whole bottle of champagne in the party limo on the way to the first club.

2. Dance! But not on a pole or on the stage. Leave it to the professionals; this is not an amateur sport. They get paid the big bucks for a reason.

3. Take pictures. There are great light shows, beautiful architecture, people dressed up or on stilts in these clubs. The pictures might be dark but add a few filters and you’ll have a great reminder of your night out.

4. Turn off your phone. Don’t text your ex, or that new Tinder guy. Stop now. It’s not worth it! Just turn your phone off at the beginning of the night so you won’t be tempted. Or, better yet, ask one of your friends to change the names/numbers of your temptations in your phone so you won’t be able to text them.

5. Never leave your friends. The age old rule that should always be followed, and vet the people your friends are taking home. Introduce the new love of your life/night to your friends and meet the people they want to take home too. You’ll mitigate the effects of beer goggles so you all feel happier about it in the morning.

6. Make sure you know how to get home. Take a business card from the hotel you’re staying in, or have the map     saved on your phone. It’s much easier to give this to a taxi or uber driver than trying to remember an address at the end of the night.

Follow these simple rules and you are sure to have the best night out in Hollywood, that you can actually tell people about.

The post How To Do A Hollywood Club Crawl With Your Dignity Intact appeared first on Beer, Wine, Liquor Delivery - BeerRightNow.com.