How to Make Friends at a Bar When You Are Alone

So you’re at a bar, alone, wondering how to make friends. What do you say? Do you sit there and peruse the drinks list? Do you ask for a recommendation? Do you chat up the bartender for a moment?

No. You. Do. Not.
The key to making friends at a bar is to wear a fur coat. A fur coat. A Fur Coat. Wear it! Try it out. It doesn’t have to be the nicest fur coat; it doesn’t have to be the biggest or best fur. It might as well be faux fur! But pick one up– at your nearest Neiman Marcus or hit up the closest thrift shop (thank you Macklemore for teaching me about these wonderful establishments!).

In any case, wear a fur coat. First off, you will feel immediately cool. A fur coat is a blanket of protection and confidence. People will immediately start to touch your jacket and pet your furry coat. It draws people in, making you a beacon of personality.

Walk in with a grin. A big grin, with the understanding that you may look ridiculous, you may feel ridiculous, but

Second: take the roundabout, long path to the bar. Take the “scenic path”. Take the path that allows you to be seen. But don’t stop here.

Smile at people! compliment them on their shoes! The best idea yet: peek over their shoulder and ask what they’re drinking.

Then, get yourself a drink in hand. Perhaps something neat, something sweet, even a glass of wine will do. Then wait. People will come to see who the cool person in the fur coat is.

BOOM. Instant friends.